![]() He always and only attached his name to mine. But that was never the name my biological father wrote on my birthday cards. The court compromised, forcing my younger brother and me to hyphenate our names. My parents had been divorced for a few years by then, and when my biological father found out, he threw a legal shit-fit. It wasn’t my legal name, but I used it anyway because her name was my name. One of my earliest memories is using my mother’s name as my last name in elementary school. It took a long time for both of us to learn that. It belonged to my biological father, and because I had his name, he believed I belonged to him. I was born with a name that was not given to me but forced upon me. ![]() This is the Star Wars essay I have to write. I procrastinated this essay for weeks because just thinking about it got dangerously close to cracking a wall I built for myself over the past 20 years.Īnd then “Empress Palpatine” Rey happened, and the wall came tumbling down. Then it was my loneliness - a whole lifetime of it, reflected in Padmé and Leia and Rey. I started thinking about the connection between romance and loneliness. I thought it would be silly and fun, a deep dive into the joy young women find through shipping in a fandom.īut the more I thought about it, the more morose it became. Originally, I thought I’d write about the women of Star Wars and the fuckbois who love them. This is the Star Wars essay I didn’t want to write. THIS ESSAY CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER.
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